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I was married in 1973, to a wonderful man, James Vodicka. We did love each other, but both of us had other
reasons for marrying. Personally, I wanted to be out of my mother's home and the 'boss' of my own. I wanted the
independence that marriage afforded, but without all of the responsibility. On our honeymoon, Jim broke his leg
skiing and I became pregnant. Because his work is in construction, he was off for 2 months. My pregnancy
made me very ill and I could not keep my job. All of our savings had gone as the down payment on our home.
This is how we started our wedded life.
In the years that followed, things declined rapidly. By the time our second child was born in 1976, we had
established horrible patterns. With no money, I nagged. When I nagged, Jim drank. When Jim drank, I
complained and then we would fight which would ultimately end in Jim lashing out in violence. I suffered
migraine headaches, nerves and depression. I couldn't sleep, watching the clock many nights until 4:00 a.m. I
slept in the morning until my children made me get up and then spent my days, deadened with pain pills and
tranquilizers and reading romance novels. The more I read, the more restless and dissatisfied I became. Where
was this treasure, this man of my dreams who would make me happy and fulfill my life?
It was at this point that the Lord, in His wisdom, called my 18 month-old daughter home to Him. The shock of her
sudden death, coupled with the seeming hopelessness of my life resulted in a total disregard of anyone's
feelings but my own. I adopted a 'live for today' lifestyle and tried desperately to become the modern woman,
sexually free and dependent on no one. I began my search for my non-existent paragon who would finally fill my
life and heart. I wanted love, the storybook kind, the unending romance.
Given over to the depravity of my own mind, aided by this world's thought and value system, it is not surprising
that my husband and I separated in August of 1978. I didn't even want the responsibility of my own son. This
would weigh me down and I had 'to be free'. In the three months that followed, I could be seen drifting from one
man to another. Drinking at night, taking amphetamines during the day so that I could go to work, though by this
time I couldn't do my job very well.
My husband had been to see a lawyer, and divorce proceedings were under way. In the course of his job, he
met a young lady who worked at one of the fast food chains and began to see her socially. She belonged to a
gospel-preaching church and she brought him the life and soul-saving message of salvation. Jim placed his trust
in Christ in September of that year.
As I was in contact with him, when I visited my son, or needed something from the house, he spoke of his
relationship with the Lord. Needless to say, I was not very receptive, but over the weeks that followed, my need
overcame my mindset.
On a Friday night in December, I had reached the limit of my human endurance. I had attempted suicide once
before when I was 15 years old and my family rescued me from myself. This time I was determined that no one
would be able to help. On the way home to my mother's house, I was drawn to stop and see Jim. I was
hysterical and maybe I just wanted to punish him a little more for not being able to make me happy. I kept yelling
at him, "I just what someone to love me!" His only answer was, " Gloria, Jesus loves you."
When it became evident that I could not shake his stand, I felt the calm of resolve. I would go home, wait for
everyone to go to sleep and then end my useless existence. I was exhausted and I was tired of fighting what
seemed like the whole world just to experience some joy in my life and peace in my heart.
It was 2:30 in the morning as I lay in my bed, waiting for my stepfather to stop watching television and go to
sleep. Laying there, waiting for the chance, all I could think of was, "Jesus loves you." It was not the formal
gospel message of I Corinthians 15, but I had known that since I was a child. My problem with accepting Jesus'
gift of the cross was not one of academics, it was one of submission. I had always done things my way and for
myself. It was at this time God broke through. I gave up. Within my heart, I cried out to my Lord, "Jesus, look
what I've done with my life. You can't possibly do worse. Take it and do with it what You want." It is my
experience that you don't have to offer your life twice. I knew I was spiritually bankrupt, I knew I had no one else
to depend on. I told Jesus to take it, and He did.
I had no idea what the scope of my commitment meant. I only knew at that time I was relieved. Relieved of the
weight of my sins. Relieved of doing everything on my own. I would never be alone again. I slept in peace at
last.
The next Saturday, Jim picked me up to take me to the lawyer's office to sign some papers before the judge
would finalize our divorce. On the way we stopped for breakfast at a local restaurant. During our meal, I happily
confessed of my decision for Christ. To my total dismay and amazement, he became really angry. I had thought
he would be thrilled, but in reality, he was furious. Yelling at me, I had no idea the conviction he was going
through. I knew he had plans to marry the girl from church. I understood that we were both going to start over,
but to my astonishment, after he calmed down, he asked me to come home. I could not know that the Holy Spirit
was speaking to his heart, "This is the wife I've given to you, this is the woman I want you to have."
I went back to my husband, my son and my home that day. Things were really hard at first, but the Lord heals. I
no longer looked for the 'perfect' man. Jesus was the only 'perfect' human. He has completely filled that void. I
no longer look for others to make me happy. My hope and joy are in the Lord!
We spent the next three years in a discipleship class taught by Jerry Marshall, a wonderful man who was the
youth pastor at Moraine Valley Baptist Church. He was attending Moody Bible Institute and as he learned, he
taught. It was under his loving, firm tutelage, we became grounded in the Word of God and we grew. My heart
was filled with the desire to pass on that divine knowledge to others.
I have been teaching ladies bible studies for over 20 years. Jim and I were Youth Leaders for 17 years and we
took our turns as Sunday School teachers and Junior Church leaders, but my heart has never left my desire to
see new believers grow in the Lord. This present project may well afford me a wide scope to see that desire
grow to fruition.
reasons for marrying. Personally, I wanted to be out of my mother's home and the 'boss' of my own. I wanted the
independence that marriage afforded, but without all of the responsibility. On our honeymoon, Jim broke his leg
skiing and I became pregnant. Because his work is in construction, he was off for 2 months. My pregnancy
made me very ill and I could not keep my job. All of our savings had gone as the down payment on our home.
This is how we started our wedded life.
In the years that followed, things declined rapidly. By the time our second child was born in 1976, we had
established horrible patterns. With no money, I nagged. When I nagged, Jim drank. When Jim drank, I
complained and then we would fight which would ultimately end in Jim lashing out in violence. I suffered
migraine headaches, nerves and depression. I couldn't sleep, watching the clock many nights until 4:00 a.m. I
slept in the morning until my children made me get up and then spent my days, deadened with pain pills and
tranquilizers and reading romance novels. The more I read, the more restless and dissatisfied I became. Where
was this treasure, this man of my dreams who would make me happy and fulfill my life?
It was at this point that the Lord, in His wisdom, called my 18 month-old daughter home to Him. The shock of her
sudden death, coupled with the seeming hopelessness of my life resulted in a total disregard of anyone's
feelings but my own. I adopted a 'live for today' lifestyle and tried desperately to become the modern woman,
sexually free and dependent on no one. I began my search for my non-existent paragon who would finally fill my
life and heart. I wanted love, the storybook kind, the unending romance.
Given over to the depravity of my own mind, aided by this world's thought and value system, it is not surprising
that my husband and I separated in August of 1978. I didn't even want the responsibility of my own son. This
would weigh me down and I had 'to be free'. In the three months that followed, I could be seen drifting from one
man to another. Drinking at night, taking amphetamines during the day so that I could go to work, though by this
time I couldn't do my job very well.
My husband had been to see a lawyer, and divorce proceedings were under way. In the course of his job, he
met a young lady who worked at one of the fast food chains and began to see her socially. She belonged to a
gospel-preaching church and she brought him the life and soul-saving message of salvation. Jim placed his trust
in Christ in September of that year.
As I was in contact with him, when I visited my son, or needed something from the house, he spoke of his
relationship with the Lord. Needless to say, I was not very receptive, but over the weeks that followed, my need
overcame my mindset.
On a Friday night in December, I had reached the limit of my human endurance. I had attempted suicide once
before when I was 15 years old and my family rescued me from myself. This time I was determined that no one
would be able to help. On the way home to my mother's house, I was drawn to stop and see Jim. I was
hysterical and maybe I just wanted to punish him a little more for not being able to make me happy. I kept yelling
at him, "I just what someone to love me!" His only answer was, " Gloria, Jesus loves you."
When it became evident that I could not shake his stand, I felt the calm of resolve. I would go home, wait for
everyone to go to sleep and then end my useless existence. I was exhausted and I was tired of fighting what
seemed like the whole world just to experience some joy in my life and peace in my heart.
It was 2:30 in the morning as I lay in my bed, waiting for my stepfather to stop watching television and go to
sleep. Laying there, waiting for the chance, all I could think of was, "Jesus loves you." It was not the formal
gospel message of I Corinthians 15, but I had known that since I was a child. My problem with accepting Jesus'
gift of the cross was not one of academics, it was one of submission. I had always done things my way and for
myself. It was at this time God broke through. I gave up. Within my heart, I cried out to my Lord, "Jesus, look
what I've done with my life. You can't possibly do worse. Take it and do with it what You want." It is my
experience that you don't have to offer your life twice. I knew I was spiritually bankrupt, I knew I had no one else
to depend on. I told Jesus to take it, and He did.
I had no idea what the scope of my commitment meant. I only knew at that time I was relieved. Relieved of the
weight of my sins. Relieved of doing everything on my own. I would never be alone again. I slept in peace at
last.
The next Saturday, Jim picked me up to take me to the lawyer's office to sign some papers before the judge
would finalize our divorce. On the way we stopped for breakfast at a local restaurant. During our meal, I happily
confessed of my decision for Christ. To my total dismay and amazement, he became really angry. I had thought
he would be thrilled, but in reality, he was furious. Yelling at me, I had no idea the conviction he was going
through. I knew he had plans to marry the girl from church. I understood that we were both going to start over,
but to my astonishment, after he calmed down, he asked me to come home. I could not know that the Holy Spirit
was speaking to his heart, "This is the wife I've given to you, this is the woman I want you to have."
I went back to my husband, my son and my home that day. Things were really hard at first, but the Lord heals. I
no longer looked for the 'perfect' man. Jesus was the only 'perfect' human. He has completely filled that void. I
no longer look for others to make me happy. My hope and joy are in the Lord!
We spent the next three years in a discipleship class taught by Jerry Marshall, a wonderful man who was the
youth pastor at Moraine Valley Baptist Church. He was attending Moody Bible Institute and as he learned, he
taught. It was under his loving, firm tutelage, we became grounded in the Word of God and we grew. My heart
was filled with the desire to pass on that divine knowledge to others.
I have been teaching ladies bible studies for over 20 years. Jim and I were Youth Leaders for 17 years and we
took our turns as Sunday School teachers and Junior Church leaders, but my heart has never left my desire to
see new believers grow in the Lord. This present project may well afford me a wide scope to see that desire
grow to fruition.
